Before I had my son, before I even knew that I was going to have children, I always assumed that I would want to be a working mother. I was such an independent woman, and just always felt the need to be financially independent. After having Alex, and after we got into a routine, I had a strong desire to be at home with him.
Of course we didn't plan for that, or even discuss it while I was pregnant. It was just assumed that I would take my maternity leave and then return back to work.
We are very fortunate to have 2 grandmothers watching Alex in our home. Not only does our son get the opportunity to have 1:1 attention, but it is also a great bonding experience for everyone involved. Many children don't get the chance to develop such a close relationship with their grandparents at such an early age.
Even knowing how fortunate we are, and being so thankful that we have family to watch Alex, there is not one minute in the day that I have working mother guilt. The fact that I am not able to raise my child, and spend time with him during these early days is just sometimes so difficult.
On the flip side, if I did have the opportunity to stay home with Alex, would I have guilt that I was not in the workforce making my own money, saving for his future? How would I return to the workforce with a gap of unemployment? Or would I feel that he wasn't getting a sense of hard work and responsibility? (Not to say that staying at home is not hard work -- the 10 weeks I had off were extremely difficult!! You would think that your house would ALWAYS been clean and organized. That dinner would be on the table at 5:00 PM. Clothes would be washed and folded. Not so much when you have a fussy baby that day!!!)
This article was a great read. It makes so much sense to me. Both working in the home and working outside are tough!! Parenting in general is tough!! Finding balance and making the best out of our decisions is key - no matter what the situation is.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/mommy-wars_b_1210602.html?ref=parents
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Holy Teething!!
Well, as they say... "If it's not one thing, it's another."
As soon as we seem to be getting out of the colic, fussy, reflux stage and into a more enjoyable and fun times, something has to come up and set us back.
Alex is definitely showing the signs of teething.
First, he has turned into my little drool machine! Jason and I used to joke around and say that he got his drooling from his Mama. Well, there is so much drool now that we can't use that one anymore. If I was drooling that much I would be in a bad state. My poor baby can't even give a smile without drool dripping down his chin! It's so bad that he is getting a little bit of chapped skin around his mouth to the point of putting vaseline on it when he is sleeping.
Second sign. He can't keep his hands out of his mouth... Actually, he can't keep anything out of his mouth. Alex will attempt to put anything in his mouth at least one time just to see if it will help sooth his aching gums. We found that my finger is his favorite chew toy! I just wrap my finger up in a cold wash cloth or receiving blanket and let him go to town. It must feel really good because he hums and grunts the entire time he is chewing.
Finally, Alex's mood has just changed over the past few days. He whines and whines, and sometimes has real tears. The smallest thing will set him off to the point of having to stop playing or even just get up and get a change of scenery. Even a simple diaper change will send him into a wail!!
Hopefully we find some remedies to help him through the next few months!! I have a feeling it's going to be a long ride!!
As soon as we seem to be getting out of the colic, fussy, reflux stage and into a more enjoyable and fun times, something has to come up and set us back.
Alex is definitely showing the signs of teething.
First, he has turned into my little drool machine! Jason and I used to joke around and say that he got his drooling from his Mama. Well, there is so much drool now that we can't use that one anymore. If I was drooling that much I would be in a bad state. My poor baby can't even give a smile without drool dripping down his chin! It's so bad that he is getting a little bit of chapped skin around his mouth to the point of putting vaseline on it when he is sleeping.
Second sign. He can't keep his hands out of his mouth... Actually, he can't keep anything out of his mouth. Alex will attempt to put anything in his mouth at least one time just to see if it will help sooth his aching gums. We found that my finger is his favorite chew toy! I just wrap my finger up in a cold wash cloth or receiving blanket and let him go to town. It must feel really good because he hums and grunts the entire time he is chewing.
Finally, Alex's mood has just changed over the past few days. He whines and whines, and sometimes has real tears. The smallest thing will set him off to the point of having to stop playing or even just get up and get a change of scenery. Even a simple diaper change will send him into a wail!!
Hopefully we find some remedies to help him through the next few months!! I have a feeling it's going to be a long ride!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Articles/Blogs for Parents
These are two really good articles/blogs that I have seen posted over the past week. Two completely different subjects but both quite enjoyable.
This one I think is just perfect - and would love for it to be mandatory LOL. Supposedly hospitals are offering classes for grandparents to teach the new rules of parenting. I think this is wonderful!! If I have to hear one more person in the older generation tell me, "That baby needs some rice cereal." or "Why can't he sleep on his stomach? I put you on your stomach when you were a baby." Or my favorite of, "You need to use common sense and stop following everything you read... That baby needs a blanket over him when he's sleeping."
MY generation is fortunate to have access to such a wide variety of books, articles, and websites, groups, and discussion boards catering to the needs of parents. I understand that in the late 60s and early 70s Doctor's told parents to put babies on their stomach, and that rice cereal was a great supplement for iron... But listen, in 2012, we do things differently. Please stop feeling the need to inform me and correct me of everything that you did and that I am choosing NOT to do!! And yes, if you keep nagging me about what my baby needs, you will politely be given a list of articles that can back up the methods that I have chosen to use as a guide to help me parent my child!! I just hope I remember to look into these classes when my Alex is about to be a parent! Because I'm sure once again, things will have changed completely!
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43845224/ns/today-parenting_and_family/t/grandparenting-classes-teach-new-rules-older-generation/
This article is full of fun, humor, and lots of truth... Parenting is tough, and even though we love being parents, we don't always enjoy each moment of parenting... This was just a great way of appreciating those special moments that just take your breath away or just make you realize that even though its a tough job, it's a job filled with beautiful moments.
The ending is familiar to me because as a senior attending a Catholic school we were required to participate in a 3 night/4 day Kairos Retreat.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
This one I think is just perfect - and would love for it to be mandatory LOL. Supposedly hospitals are offering classes for grandparents to teach the new rules of parenting. I think this is wonderful!! If I have to hear one more person in the older generation tell me, "That baby needs some rice cereal." or "Why can't he sleep on his stomach? I put you on your stomach when you were a baby." Or my favorite of, "You need to use common sense and stop following everything you read... That baby needs a blanket over him when he's sleeping."
MY generation is fortunate to have access to such a wide variety of books, articles, and websites, groups, and discussion boards catering to the needs of parents. I understand that in the late 60s and early 70s Doctor's told parents to put babies on their stomach, and that rice cereal was a great supplement for iron... But listen, in 2012, we do things differently. Please stop feeling the need to inform me and correct me of everything that you did and that I am choosing NOT to do!! And yes, if you keep nagging me about what my baby needs, you will politely be given a list of articles that can back up the methods that I have chosen to use as a guide to help me parent my child!! I just hope I remember to look into these classes when my Alex is about to be a parent! Because I'm sure once again, things will have changed completely!
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43845224/ns/today-parenting_and_family/t/grandparenting-classes-teach-new-rules-older-generation/
This article is full of fun, humor, and lots of truth... Parenting is tough, and even though we love being parents, we don't always enjoy each moment of parenting... This was just a great way of appreciating those special moments that just take your breath away or just make you realize that even though its a tough job, it's a job filled with beautiful moments.
The ending is familiar to me because as a senior attending a Catholic school we were required to participate in a 3 night/4 day Kairos Retreat.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
Spoke to soon...
Note to self...
Don't brag about how great your children are doing in a specific area... Because as soon as you speak it out loud, it no longer is true!!
Alex, my typically wonderful sleeper, had a rough night. He started showing signs of being tired, so like always, I walked him into his room to get into his bed. Placed the pacifier in his mouth, and attempted to leave the room. Except that last night, he was not trying to be left alone.
So I let him cry it out, as Jason is asking if he should go talk to him or lay down next to him. I did my normal checks to attempt to calm him down yet nothing was working. After three 5 minute checks I became a little concerned that something was wrong because like I have said... Alex is typically a wonderful sleeper.
Unfortunately, I couldn't remain strong! The crying just became too much that I had to break down and sooth my baby to sleep. I had laundry that needed to be folded and let's just be honest, Steel Magnolias was on and I just wanted to veg out on the couch. So after 25 minutes of letting Alex Cry it Out, I just gave up and stayed in the room (holding his hands) until he fell asleep. It literally took less than 5 minutes I'm sure, and I was selfishly able to go back to watching my movie.
Yes, I'm feeling a little guilt about it this morning, and really hoping that we don't have a repeat of last night's fight for sleep.
Don't brag about how great your children are doing in a specific area... Because as soon as you speak it out loud, it no longer is true!!
Alex, my typically wonderful sleeper, had a rough night. He started showing signs of being tired, so like always, I walked him into his room to get into his bed. Placed the pacifier in his mouth, and attempted to leave the room. Except that last night, he was not trying to be left alone.
So I let him cry it out, as Jason is asking if he should go talk to him or lay down next to him. I did my normal checks to attempt to calm him down yet nothing was working. After three 5 minute checks I became a little concerned that something was wrong because like I have said... Alex is typically a wonderful sleeper.
Unfortunately, I couldn't remain strong! The crying just became too much that I had to break down and sooth my baby to sleep. I had laundry that needed to be folded and let's just be honest, Steel Magnolias was on and I just wanted to veg out on the couch. So after 25 minutes of letting Alex Cry it Out, I just gave up and stayed in the room (holding his hands) until he fell asleep. It literally took less than 5 minutes I'm sure, and I was selfishly able to go back to watching my movie.
Yes, I'm feeling a little guilt about it this morning, and really hoping that we don't have a repeat of last night's fight for sleep.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sleeping Baby
I have been fortunate to have a baby who sleeps through the night...
I know it's been said that "no baby truly sleeps through the night, and if parents say that their baby does, they are lying." I have also read that "sleeping through the night" is equivalent to 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. But, we are one of the lucky ones who can actually say that our baby sleeps through the night, ALL NIGHT!
The same week I returned back to work, Alex began sleeping through the night on his own. At first he would sleep from 9 PM to 6 or 7 AM. Now he is ready for bed around 7:30 PM and wakes up around 6 AM. He must have known that his Mama needed her sleep to get into the routine of being a working mom!
When I first started back to work I was so exhausted that I would go to sleep as soon as Alex went down for bed. I was just so tired I reverted back to his new born days and slept when he slept.
Now, I have a routine, have more energy, and am excited to have some time in the evening to relax. The only problem is, I don't know what to do with myself. There is only so much facebook stalking or pin board searching one can do.
So it came to me this weekend that I need to redefine my whole self. Figure out who I am as a mother, and learn how to separate myself as a Mom and an individual. It's time to pick up some of those old hobbies and interests. Start using my eReader that Jason got me a couple of Christmas' ago and actually read a non-baby book! I need to make the best out of the few hours a night I have to myself, after the laundry and dishes are done (of course).
Maybe we will start with getting back into Dexter :o)
Or maybe not, I'm even more of a scaredy cat now that I have my Alex to protect!!
I know it's been said that "no baby truly sleeps through the night, and if parents say that their baby does, they are lying." I have also read that "sleeping through the night" is equivalent to 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. But, we are one of the lucky ones who can actually say that our baby sleeps through the night, ALL NIGHT!
The same week I returned back to work, Alex began sleeping through the night on his own. At first he would sleep from 9 PM to 6 or 7 AM. Now he is ready for bed around 7:30 PM and wakes up around 6 AM. He must have known that his Mama needed her sleep to get into the routine of being a working mom!
When I first started back to work I was so exhausted that I would go to sleep as soon as Alex went down for bed. I was just so tired I reverted back to his new born days and slept when he slept.
Now, I have a routine, have more energy, and am excited to have some time in the evening to relax. The only problem is, I don't know what to do with myself. There is only so much facebook stalking or pin board searching one can do.
So it came to me this weekend that I need to redefine my whole self. Figure out who I am as a mother, and learn how to separate myself as a Mom and an individual. It's time to pick up some of those old hobbies and interests. Start using my eReader that Jason got me a couple of Christmas' ago and actually read a non-baby book! I need to make the best out of the few hours a night I have to myself, after the laundry and dishes are done (of course).
Maybe we will start with getting back into Dexter :o)
Or maybe not, I'm even more of a scaredy cat now that I have my Alex to protect!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Happy 5 months Alex!!!
I just can't believe how fast time is going...
It really does feel like yesterday we were bringing Alex home from the hospital. Scared out of my mind because I didn't know how to care for a newborn. Hoping that I could take care of his belly button correctly, completely worrying about giving him a bath, and constantly questioning if I would know what to do when he cried.
Then after being home for only 10 days, and still going into the doctor's for routine "weigh ins," the doctors suspect that Alex has a serious infection and were concerned that it would attack his brain/spinal area.
There are just somethings that the books just can't prepare you for.
Not knowing if it was OK to continue to bond with him (but then having thoughts of guilt even thinking those horrible things), questioning if using the skin to skin method would help him get better, wondering if we would leave the hospital with him being OK. Maternal instincts and bonding seemed to really kick in once we were admitted to the hospital. Things that I worried about (e.x. belly button, inability to breast feed) all seemed so simple and unimportant after we were admitted.
Now, I have this happy, bouncy, smiling, healthy baby boy who just babbles just as much as his Mama does. The joy he brings to us is just unbelievable. Who would have thought that I would look forward to waking up at the 5 o'clock hour to get things together so that I can spend some time with Alex before I go to work. Who would have ever thought that you could make changing a stinky diaper into a fun and silly game??
At 5 months old I just wish time would slow down!! Alex is just too much fun, even when he is fussy!! I'm so thankful for my Baby Alex!!
It really does feel like yesterday we were bringing Alex home from the hospital. Scared out of my mind because I didn't know how to care for a newborn. Hoping that I could take care of his belly button correctly, completely worrying about giving him a bath, and constantly questioning if I would know what to do when he cried.
Then after being home for only 10 days, and still going into the doctor's for routine "weigh ins," the doctors suspect that Alex has a serious infection and were concerned that it would attack his brain/spinal area.
There are just somethings that the books just can't prepare you for.
Not knowing if it was OK to continue to bond with him (but then having thoughts of guilt even thinking those horrible things), questioning if using the skin to skin method would help him get better, wondering if we would leave the hospital with him being OK. Maternal instincts and bonding seemed to really kick in once we were admitted to the hospital. Things that I worried about (e.x. belly button, inability to breast feed) all seemed so simple and unimportant after we were admitted.
Now, I have this happy, bouncy, smiling, healthy baby boy who just babbles just as much as his Mama does. The joy he brings to us is just unbelievable. Who would have thought that I would look forward to waking up at the 5 o'clock hour to get things together so that I can spend some time with Alex before I go to work. Who would have ever thought that you could make changing a stinky diaper into a fun and silly game??
At 5 months old I just wish time would slow down!! Alex is just too much fun, even when he is fussy!! I'm so thankful for my Baby Alex!!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Is it Friday yet??
Just can't wait until this weekend to get some downtime and hopefully some rest!!
It's just so funny how 3 day weekends are so much different than they used to be!! Before baby Alex it was all about sleeping in, watching day time TV, possibly even going out the night before and staying out ridiculously late!!
Now, with a baby I can't wait to get some things organized, possible purchase and put together a storage unit, and definitely get some errands & shopping done!! May still watch a little bit of day time TV but it is more for background noise while folding laundry :o)
With working full time, most weekends I'm so concerned about spending time with Alex and getting the house straightened up and things put away. In between cleaning and playing with Alex I seem to forget to have fun -- even though playing with Alex is a lot of fun!! So this weekend hopefully I can get it together and get out of the house and do something different & fun!! Detroit is having their annual auto show so we are thinking about heading up to the D and checking out some new cars!!! I'm sure Alex & Joel would enjoy checking out some hooked up cars :o)
It's just so funny how 3 day weekends are so much different than they used to be!! Before baby Alex it was all about sleeping in, watching day time TV, possibly even going out the night before and staying out ridiculously late!!
Now, with a baby I can't wait to get some things organized, possible purchase and put together a storage unit, and definitely get some errands & shopping done!! May still watch a little bit of day time TV but it is more for background noise while folding laundry :o)
With working full time, most weekends I'm so concerned about spending time with Alex and getting the house straightened up and things put away. In between cleaning and playing with Alex I seem to forget to have fun -- even though playing with Alex is a lot of fun!! So this weekend hopefully I can get it together and get out of the house and do something different & fun!! Detroit is having their annual auto show so we are thinking about heading up to the D and checking out some new cars!!! I'm sure Alex & Joel would enjoy checking out some hooked up cars :o)
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
what a night
The holidays really threw Alex out of wack with his sleep routine!!
I'm all about structure and routine so getting off track is probably more hard for me than it is for him. Alex was probably enjoying the fact that he was staying up a little later and hanging out with his Mom and Dad. But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end!
Last night Alex struggled to get to sleep. He was drowsy when I put him down, yet just could not settle. He kept screaming for his pacifier and was not satisfied until he had it back in his mouth.
After me caving in and going into his room to pick him up to comfort him, he had a couple of big burps and was ready to sleep!!! Poor baby and his reflux!
On a lighter note we attempted cereal again last night. Such a mess but kind of fun to watch his expressions when I put it in his mouth. If I say, "yummy" after each bite he smiles. The smiles are adorable until the food dribbles out of his mouth!! We will figure this food thing out one day!
I know he should have a bib on but he already spit up on his pjs before we started to eat so, I just fed him without a bib this time...
I'm all about structure and routine so getting off track is probably more hard for me than it is for him. Alex was probably enjoying the fact that he was staying up a little later and hanging out with his Mom and Dad. But unfortunately, all good things must come to an end!
Last night Alex struggled to get to sleep. He was drowsy when I put him down, yet just could not settle. He kept screaming for his pacifier and was not satisfied until he had it back in his mouth.
After me caving in and going into his room to pick him up to comfort him, he had a couple of big burps and was ready to sleep!!! Poor baby and his reflux!
On a lighter note we attempted cereal again last night. Such a mess but kind of fun to watch his expressions when I put it in his mouth. If I say, "yummy" after each bite he smiles. The smiles are adorable until the food dribbles out of his mouth!! We will figure this food thing out one day!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Holidays
Can't believe how fast the holidays came and went...
Such a busy time a year, and even more busy with a baby!
We had a very nice time, even though it seemed like we didn't have a moment's rest. Alex had the chance to spend time with family and friends, meeting a lot of new people! My Mom was in town for over a week and she enjoyed spending time with him. I think he was a little confused on who was who - due to the fact that I look so much like my Mom.
Jason and I chose not to buy Alex anything for Christmas - because he doesn't actually know what's going on!! But, of course he got spoiled by grandparents!! His favorite toy by far was his Elmo doll from his Grandpa Jim. Alex can seriously talk to Elmo for 10 minutes straight! Then he gets overwhelmed and over stimulated, and pushes Elmo away. He also enjoys his new Exer-saucer from his MiMi. He still doesn't get it but likes to hear the funny songs it plays!
Such a busy time a year, and even more busy with a baby!
We had a very nice time, even though it seemed like we didn't have a moment's rest. Alex had the chance to spend time with family and friends, meeting a lot of new people! My Mom was in town for over a week and she enjoyed spending time with him. I think he was a little confused on who was who - due to the fact that I look so much like my Mom.
Jason and I chose not to buy Alex anything for Christmas - because he doesn't actually know what's going on!! But, of course he got spoiled by grandparents!! His favorite toy by far was his Elmo doll from his Grandpa Jim. Alex can seriously talk to Elmo for 10 minutes straight! Then he gets overwhelmed and over stimulated, and pushes Elmo away. He also enjoys his new Exer-saucer from his MiMi. He still doesn't get it but likes to hear the funny songs it plays!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)